EASY AS PIE (A Beginner’s Guide to Delicious Pies in 3 Easy Steps)

There’s an old saying: Easy as pie. There’s a reason the saying was relateable: making a pie is easy! It’s especially easy today.

If you’re new to baking, all you need to know are 3 BASIC STEPS:

  1. Put crust in pie dish.
  2. Add filling.
  3. Bake.

It’s that easy.

Making pie is so easy!

Now that you know how to make a pie, let’s elaborate slightly.

CRUST

I prefer homemade crust, but for a novice, or someone with a full schedule, you can pick up pre-made, pre-rolled crusts in the refrigerator section of the grocery store. And they’re good! You can keep them in the refrigerator or even freeze them until needed. You literally open the package, remove one crust (they generally come with 2 crusts per package) and lay it down on a pie dish.

Feeling adventurous? Nothing is as good as a flaky, homemade crust. I use the recipe that my mother and surrogate grandmother used. Our recipe makes 6 balls of dough so we freeze the extras for a fast meal or dessert later.

Make the dough. Flour a flat surface and roll the dough out.

Roll the dough on a floured surface.

You can tell when you’re done because the crust will be larger than the pie dish.

You're done when the crust is larger than the pie dish

TIP: Roll the crust around the rolling pin to pick it up and unroll it onto the pie dish. This prevents tearing. (Got a tear? No worries, you can patch it with dough remnants.)

Great Tip: Roll the crust around the rolling pin to pick it up and unroll it onto the pie dish.

The edges can be cut off even with the pie dish, forked, pinched or just laid over the top of the filling for a rustic look.

edges can be cut off even with the pie dish, forked, pinched or just laid over the top of the filling for a rustic look

Whichever method you choose, your pies will be beautiful and delicious!

FILLING

Let’s start with the easiest: buy fruit filling at the grocery store. There’s one for every taste: Strawberry, blueberry, cherry, peach, apple and even Bavarian Cream. There are non-GMO fillings. There are fillings in cans, jars and tubes. The variety will keep you making pies for months with little to no effort.

Buy fruit filling at the grocery store. They come in cans, jars and tubes.

Open the container, add it to your crust, and bake. You have pie!

Open the container, add it to your crust, and bake. You have pie!

CUSTARD

Custard is easy: mix 2 eggs and 2 cups cream. (Whip it. Whip it good.)

Now, add sugar and it’s a sweet custard. Add salt and pepper (and even some herbs) and it’s savory custard.

Why do you care? Well, if you want a strawberry custard pie, you go for the sweet custard. If you want a quiche – with bacon, mushrooms, or chicken, broccoli and cheese – you want the savory custard. Use your imagination.

Add bacon, mushrooms, or chicken, broccoli and cheese to custard for a savory pie.

BE CREATIVE

  • Irene used to make a taco pie. Instead of the standard crust, she would press crescent roll triangles into the bottom of the dish. Then she would brown hamburger and onion with taco seasoning and put it in the pie shell. She would add a can of black beans or pinto beans, cheddar cheese and bake. You can also add jalapenos and top with salsa, sour cream and crushed taco chips.
  • Open a can of Dinty Moore stew and pour it in a pie shell. Top with mashed potatoes for an easy Shepherd’s Pie.
  • Have leftover macaroni and cheese? Add some chopped ham or bacon and put it in a pie shell.

Think about making a Reuben Pie (corned beef, sauer kraut and swiss cheese), or a Pot Pie (Turkey or chicken and some cooked vegetables). The list is endless and with a crust, some leftovers and imagination, you’ll be making pies in no time.

“Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!”

The lobby is my office. I greet visitors, including frequent job applicants. The routine is the same each time. They sign in and I notify the appropriate person to come greet their guest.

Guests write their name and I have to attempt to read it.

I generally have notice of whom to expect, but occasionally a visitor will surprise me, as did
“La-Ah”. I can’t remember her last name, but her first name will stay with me. (Hint: it didn’t rhyme with Aha! or caca). I wasn’t taking any chances and asked how she pronounced her name. She said, “LU-DASH-UH”. According to Urban Dictionary this is a thing and the “dash” don’t be silent.

You named me WHAT???

A baby on the way is exciting and finding a name is fun, but try to be responsible — your baby will have that name their entire life. It’s a big decision and one that often comes after much careful thought.

Here are some helpful hints in selecting your baby’s name:

1) Consider whether or not the name will hold up over the years. Call me old-timey but in a decade or two names like Nevaeh or Alucard, made-up names derived from words spelled backwards, will sound silly.

2) Avoid attention-getting celebrities’ choices. Saint is a name Kanye must have come up with on his “Yeezus Tour”. North and the new baby, Chicago are kind of cool, but adding the surname, West, loses me.

Unusual names started on the Yeezus tour

Bear was selected by both Alicia Silverstone and Kate Winslet as their boys’ name. Kind of wild, huh?

Moon Unit, Diva Muffin and Dweezil are Frank Zappa’s daughters. Drugs, duh. That’s the only correct answer here.

Apple is the name of Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter, who will, no doubt, be sitting at the ugly girls’ lunch table.

Tu Morrow is Rob Morrow’s daughter. Ugh.

See a good representation of what celebrities named their babies, here:

3) Be selective when using movie, book or television characters. My boys were both named after beloved characters from favored romance novels. Bryce was taken from  “The Wolf and the Dove” and Stuart from “The Thorn Birds”. I’ll be waiting for your calls, boys.

Names are frequently taken from characters in favourite books

I suggest avoiding these at all cost:

Snape–(Harry Potter) Don’t even think about it.

Katniss—(The Hunger Games) Bad taste is never good.

Daenerys—(Game of Thrones) This is a name from a made-up language, people.

Pumbaa-(Lion King) Taken from Swahili which refers to someone who is silly, foolish, careless, and weak-minded. Your kid deserves better.

Many children have been named after Disney characters. I don’t mind Merida, Sebastian or Ariel but I’d skip Pongo (Oh, come on! It’s a dog!)

Be inspired here:

4) Say the full name in all forms. Ima Hogg; Anita Rest; Justin Case; William Power (Will Power), Paige Turner or Matt Scott Wood are all mistakes. It is my hope these children develop a sense of humor.

5) Consider your desire. Do you want your child to stand out or fit in? Popular traditional names for 2017 were Sophia and Jackson. Or you can be hip and use creative (wacky) spellings. Imagine a bay-beez naym such as Khrystyne, Airwrecka, Jaykub or Eysek.

It’s not always a good idea to spell the name in a trendy way. My cousin, Julie, entered her baby daughter’s name on the birth certificate application as “Tara Rhea”. The baffled nurse thought it rhymed with diarrhea. Julie immediately edited to “Tara Rae”.

Changing the spelling of a name can cause confusion!

6) Is the name legal?

Internationally:

  • China doesn’t allow symbols and numerals. See ya, La-Ah!
  • Saudi Arabia has a list of banned baby names, including “Linda,” (due to its association with Western culture).
  • Germany has very strict laws. Names must clearly indicate the gender. Plus Germany, Italy and many other countries cite that names “must not be likely to lead to humiliation.”
  • Denmark, Hungary and Iceland require parents to choose baby names from a pre-approved list.

United States:

  • Several states limit the number of characters that can be used due to the limitations of the software used for official record keeping.

Several states limit the number of characters that can be used in a name because of software limitations

  • California has a ban on diacritical marks, so no way to José or Beyoncé.
  • Florida requires both parents to agree on the first name. If they can’t agree, a court will select one.
  • Or, move to Kentucky where there are no naming laws at all. Well, hello, La-Ah!

7. Ethnic names are generally to be celebrated. I grew up with practical parents. Why they thought their only son wouldn’t have problems with a name like Raimundus (roll the “r”), is beyond my scope of comprehension. Mom wanted him to be named Raymond. Dad insisted on the Lithuanian version.  Last summer my brother, “Ray”, applied for an enhanced driver’s license to cross into Canada and see Niagara Falls. It was a nightmare when his first name didn’t match on the submitted documents.

Name differences can cause problems when trying to obtain a passport

8. Don’t choose a name with failed initials. My niece’s initials are MAD. If your name is Smith, then avoid Patty Marie (PMS). William Thomas Ford is unfortunate, as well. Get it?

9. Naming twins has unique challenges.

  • Fish and Chips–A New Zealand couple chose this name for their twins. The government later banned the names.
  • Sam and Ella–(Yikes! Salmonella?)
  • Morocco and Monroe– Mariah Carey calls them Roc and Roe.

A good story makes almost any name okay in my book.  The young man in our Marketing Department, (who calls me “Miss Irene”), was named after his grandmother’s favorite basketball player, Jalen Rose of the Indiana Pacers. Our Jalan has a twin sister named Jai’La. And…all the grandchildren share the same initials JMN. Sweet, right?

A rose by any other name....

When my sister was pregnant the first time, she hoped their first born male would be named Phineas from “A Separate Peace” or Ruark from the romance novel, “Shanna”. Ultimately there was an argument and then a compromise: She, Eddie and the new baby would make three…and that’s how Trey received his name!

If you have an interesting story describing how you were named, we’d love to here it!

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Free Money!

In the “Old Days” shopping included layaway, rain checks and rebates. Things have changed. Now, most shopping is done online. So, instead of going home, filling out a form, then mailing it in with a copy of your receipt for a rebate, you can now get an Ebate.

Shopping carts are virtual now. If you shop online, you should get ebates.

A few days ago, I made a fairly significant purchase. When I mentioned it to Irene, her immediate response was “Did you use Ebates? You would have gotten $35 back.” What? $35? OK, I thought this was definitely worth looking into.

I signed up, made a purchase and got an ebate. It was seriously THAT easy!

I signed up, made a purchase and got an ebate. It was seriously THAT easy!

Because I downloaded the free “button”, whenever I’m on a page with an Ebate, I get a pop-up on my screen. I just click the pop-up to apply the cash back or any coupons that are available. Then they send me a check.

If an Ebate applies, just click the pop-up to apply the cash back or any coupons that are available.

If you shop online at any of these stores (and there’s hundreds more!), you should sign up, too. It’s FREE money and it’s easy.

If you shop online at any of these stores (and there's hundreds more!), you should sign up for Ebates.

Interested? This is all you have to do:

  1. Click this Ebates link. (Use this link to automatically get $10 the first time you use Ebates.)
  2. Sign up.
  3. Download the free “button” offered by Ebates. (That way, you don’t have to remember to use Ebates. The button reminds you!)
  4. Shop and get free money! 

I’m already planning a trip with my Ebates.

My Big Fat Ebates Check is on it's way! I'm planning a trip!

They’ve notified me that my Big Fat Check is on it’s way!

This entry was posted in Coupons.

Call Me, Maybe?

Growing up, my siblings and I had no contact with our grandparents. We never had the chance to give our grandmother an endearing name such as the Polish Babcia, Busha or Babka, which to me simply translated to “old lady with a babushka”.

When I moved to Kentucky, I first heard the term “Memaw”. I like it. It’s southern, unpretentious and humble just like my friend, Shelley.

Sometimes nicknames are born from the child’s inability to pronounce a name. Our friend, Regina, is “Neena” because her granddaughters couldn’t pronounce “Regina”.

Then there’s my friend, Shirley, who’s called “Gamma” by her almost 6 foot tall, 15-year-old grandson who doesn’t think it’s uncool. Not. One. Bit.

Statistically, “Grandma” and “Nana” are the most often chosen names for Grandmother. “Other” names come in 41% of the time. Marriage spans are now shorter, so many kids have more than two grandmothers. You can’t use the same name, can you? No? Well, that’s some kind of pressure! Although, my  boys had two “grandmas”. One was “Grandma with the Glasses” and one was “Grandma without the Glasses”.

An interesting option is “Ammamamma” (India). It’s kind of cool, but a toddler probably won’t be able to pronounce it before they’re 21. There’s Choo-Choo (jinx)—well that has a ring to it; Or Gee-Ma—for the lazy grandchild.

Try following the lead of the rich and famous with these suggestions:

Laura Bush—Mimi Maxwell

Blythe Danner—Lalo

Goldie Hawn—Glam-ma

Kris Jenner—Lovey

Sharon Osbourne—Shazza

Nancy Pelosi—Grandma Mimi

Pricilla Presley—Nonna

Debbie Reynolds—Aba Daba

Joan Rivers—Nana New Face

Susan Sarandon—Honey

Martha Stewart—Martha

Some grandmothers prefer a more formal nickname. My (yes, younger), sister married before I did and became a grandmother before me, (sigh). She opted to be called “Your Highness” which received a big “Nope-and-Nope” from her son. Even little Prince George doesn’t call Queen Elizabeth “Your Highness”. He calls his great-grandmother, “Gan Gan.”

So, Sandy became “Ma’am” because it sounds like “Mom”, with the bonus that her grandson sounds polite in public.

If you’re having trouble deciding what you’d like to be called by your grandchildren, try either of these two websites.

At quizdoo, Granny was recommended! Wait. Back up. Isn’t that a bit “mainstream-ish”?

Moving on, I then tried to generate a name here:

Grandparent Name Generator

I got “Nanny Irnedee”. Yeah, no. can’t even pronounce that.

It may be a bit premature to think about what Grandma name I would like since my son isn’t getting married until next year. If I follow Donald Trump’s lead, who’s called “Mr. Trump” by his grandkids (Monster!), the poor kid would need to pronounce five syllables.

Like Goldie, Glam-ma might work. But I think “Grand” would be wonderful. Then, again, I sometimes feel that Grandmas shouldn’t get to pick their names. Grandchildren can do that for them.

Grandmas should embrace with joy whatever name comes from the lips of grandchildren–like my friend Jen, who is now called “Bob”.


What are you called? Or what do you call your grandmother?

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