Driving To Work (and Working to Drive!)

I job-share, which allows me to work a week and then take a week off. I have driven the 19 miles to work approximately 953 times and (roughly) this is my commuting experience:

Once in my car, I immediately check the clock. If it glows anything beyond 7:26 am, there’s a chance I’ll be late for my 8:00 am start time. I have to admit that the car’s clock is set 8 minutes ahead. Consciously, I know it’s fast, but I still react as if it’s the correct time. I love that tiny bit of stress that makes my heart pound with a little excitement as I clutch the steering wheel, channel my inner Mario Andretti and frantically think, “OK! I CAN DO THIS!”

Fingers crossed

As I leave my subdivision, I hope that I can beat the line of eleven school buses. I see them coming.  Are they far enough away for me to make the left turn? I go for it! I am now on the Super Highway of Profanity!

Once I’m heading in the right direction, I relax a bit and tune in to the radio. The topic is Kanye West’s latest tirade on Twitter. What fresh hell is this? I change the station. Now it’s talk of a mother arrested at a South Carolina grocery store for swearing in front of a baby. Really?

shocked_baby

 

I bring my attention back to driving. I’m in the left lane behind a silver KIA mini van. I shake my head with thoughts about how today’s vehicles are mostly silver, tan, white or black and mainly shaped like eggs, high-tops or the occasional toaster. I reminisce about the good old days when the make, model and the year of a car were all recognizable.

And, I bring my attention back to driving. The KIA is going 10 miles under my speed limit of 5 miles over. I can’t go around because I’m boxed-in by the white Egg to my right. After what seems like hours, the white Egg speeds up a bit to let me in the right lane. As I drive past the KIA,  I look at the driver with furrowed brows, who has a spooky, blue glow…she’s texting! Be courteous, people! If you’re going to text while driving, please do it in the right lane!

violet_beauregard

And I bring my attention back to driving. As I pass the White Castle plant, I glance at the clock. It reads 7:39. I’m in good shape. It’s exciting to know that I can now avoid ending up behind TANK bus #33. It never fails. That bus driver won’t pull over to the curb during the incessant stops, picking up shivering passengers — and you’re stopping right along with him!

And I bring my attention back to driving. A procession of red tail lights snake ahead, so I slow down and stop. It looks like this may take a few minutes. Looking around I see an early VW Beetle but can’t play Slug Bug, mainly because…well…I’m alone.

slug_bug_green

Next, I look at the license plate directly in front of me and the three letters are VGA. Time to come up with as many words with those letters in that order. “Vaguely”. No. Wait. That’s not right. “Vegas”, “vegan”…done. How about “JBL”? Uh, “jumble”, “adjustable”, “Jambalaya”…done.

I see a vanity plate that spells out “1 SILK TOY”. Who would spend an extra $25 for that message? But, I think, at least it’s readable. What does “LVNCAS” mean? I love the Incas? Leaving in case? In case of what? Why would someone choose a vanity plate that no one understands?

And I bring my attention back to driving.  As I pass the high school,  I must make sure I don’t get too close to the curb as the road curves right. The light poles are so close that if I hit one, it could snap the side mirror into the passenger side window and shatter it…(not that I’ve done that before).

And I bring my attention back to driving. I turn onto Greenup Street and a car off the side street turns in front of me. I brake so fast my purse slides to the floor like a grandma in socks on linoleum.

Almost to the office and, uh-oh. The “hair-combing guy” is in front of me. He’s not driving his old silver Saturn. He’s in a new silver Toaster-car. Running late while knowing his habits, I roll my eyes. Here we go. He stops at the first STOP sign. One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, three-Mississippi, four-Mississippi, five-Mississippi, six-Mississippi while he furiously combs his comb over from the left ear to right. Next stop sign, it’s lather, rinse, repeat…one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi….comb, comb, comb, comb…what a control freak!

Fail

While I wait at the third STOP, I change the radio station. The topic: “Who said it: Donald Trump or Kanye West? Well, this might be entertaining!

“Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game.”

I say, “Donald Trump!” And yes! That is correct!

“I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it.”

Because I’m not entirely sure he can read, I choose Kanye West! Correct!

trump_kanye

And I bring my attention back to driving. As I approach the parking garage, I check the clock and it displays 8:00. That gives me a glorious 8 minutes!!! On level 3, the huge white Suburban tries (four times) to back into her spot. About five spaces down, the white Denali is simultaneously trying to back into her spot….in the meantime… “Who said it: Donald Trump or Kanye West?

‘You have to think anyway, so why not think big?”

I say, Kanye West! Wanh-wanh. What? It’s Trump? Sheesh, I guess I can’t tell those two apart.

And I bring my attention back to driving.  As I approach the fourth level, in the mirror I see a car headed straight at me. Doomed for a head-on collision, my heart begins to beat frantically (because I’m going to die!)….Oh! Wait! Now I remember! The mirror is seriously askew and those are my headlights. Ha-ha, I dodged that bullet!

I see my spot waiting for me and pull in.

I head for the stairs trying to keep my eyes averted because if I look at the “STAIR” sign on the door, it’ll ruin a few minutes of my morning. I can’t help it…I look.

stair_2

Up the stairs…eight steps, a landing, eight more steps. I’m here with three minutes to spare! My heart erupts in glad Hosannas!

If you’re exhausted reading this post, just think how exhausted I am at the end of my ride to the office.

The first cut is the deepest. The rest of my work week will be a cinch and it’s awesome that I get a week between shifts so I have time to prepare for my next, “first commute” of the week.

INTOLERABLE FRIEND

I have a confession to make. I really don’t like my best friend’s husband. I don’t like my other girlfriend’s friend. I don’t like one of my in-laws. And they don’t know it.

confessional

I’m not a grump. Honestly. I generally get along with people. I’m patient, tolerant and mostly positive. But these people are abrasive, loud and opinionated. Some of them are aggressive. Their morals, humour and views clash with mine. I find them rude and, in some cases, obnoxious.

What should I do? This has been going on for years and it’s a dilemma I’ve never resolved.

I know that most of you are thinking that I should just avoid them. That’s not always easy. Here is one example.

For years, Mary and I have been attending the annual Rummage Sale in (we’ll just say) Peducah. We make a day of it. We get up early and stop at McDonald’s for coffee and oatmeal. We drive for hours, chatting all the way. We tell secrets and pour out our worries and release things that have been bottled up for months. We stop along the way and lunch and shop for treasures. We stop at thrift stores and yard sales. We rummage. We buy. We enjoy dinner at a favourite restaurant and talk some more. I’ve always looked forward to it.

thelma louise

Three years ago, I woke up and got ready. I was excited, so hurried to get dressed and ran out of the house. Mary always drives and was in front of the house, waiting. Then I noticed Clara, sitting in the passenger seat.

I had met Clara a few times but we just didn’t click. I never really understood why Mary liked her so much. But, I thought, oh well! It was too good a day to let it bother me – until we got to McDonald’s.

When we pulled up to the speaker box in the drive through, Clara leaned all the way across Mary and started screaming into the box: “HELL-OOOOOOOOOO! HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO! Lazy people should JUST do their jobs! HELLLLLOOOOOOOO! IS ANYONE THERE?” This was after being at the speaker box for exactly 4 seconds. For the first time, I didn’t get my “ritual” oatmeal and coffee. I didn’t get anything. I couldn’t bring myself to pay for someone spitting in my food and I knew, after Mary’s rude behavior, that was exactly what would happen. The day went downhill after that.

squacking

The annual Peducah Rummage Sale is run by the senior members of the community. It’s a charitable event to raise money for different causes. I’ve always enjoyed the conversation with the members as much as the rummaging and buying. At least, I did until this trip. I couldn’t help but hear (as did everyone in the building) Clara’s comments bouncing off the walls: “Are you KIDDING me? That crap’s not even worth a dollar let alone 4!” (Referring to the hand crocheted tablecloth that one member made and donated). “You people are shysters!” and “WHO BUYS THIS JUNK? YOU SHOULD JUST THROW IT OUT!”

I’m sure you get the picture so I won’t go on to describe the incident at the gas station, her treatment of our server at dinner and the overwhelmingly negative ramblings in the car the entire way there and back.

Clara was in the passenger seat the next year and the next. A day that used to get me excited now fills me with dread. It occurred to me (for just a second) that maybe Clara dreaded seeing me as much as I dreaded seeing her. I mean, I know that I’m not like Mary’s other friends, but I’m funny and intelligent and experienced, so it can’t be ME that causes people strife, right? Right.

angry

So, what do you do when you can barely tolerate a friend of a friend? (Or their child, spouse or partner, an in-law or a family member)? I’ve tried everything I can think of with no success.

  • Most of the obnoxious people I have met are too self-absorbed to get subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints.
  • I won’t come right out and tell my friend that I can’t tolerate someone she loves. That would only hurt her and our relationship.
  • I am NOT willing to give up my time with her. I love Mary, need her, and want to continue spending time with her.
  • Although, admittedly, Clara does sometimes make me laugh, I don’t think that I want to waste any of my precious time with someone I can’t tolerate.

What do I do? I don’t think that doing nothing is an option, either. A group of us have been making vacation plans for the summer. We’ve been planning a 2-week cruise. We’ve even picked our destination and dates and most of us have gathered the down payment.

cruise

Mary called yesterday with good news: Clara will be joining us.


Do you have someone you have to spend time with that you can’t tolerate? What do you do? We’d love suggestions!

 

It Sounds Like A Solution

I fondly remember the quizzes in Cosmopolitan Magazine. Beginning in our teens and all through our 30’s, Sandy and I would take those quizzes as soon as we had that magazine in our hot little hands. (Maybe Cosmo still includes them in each issue, but they’re no longer as relevant to us as they once were).

Main_02As you know, there’s no shortage of quizzes these days. You can find a variety (including “Which Ousted Arab Spring Ruler Are You?”) on BuzzFeed, FaceBook, Mental Floss and Zimbio, to name just a few. I am obsessed with quizzes and completely accept the profound and accurate results (just as we did with those in Cosmopolitan).

Last week I was skimming through FaceBook, and a “Suggested Post” popped up for a quiz that asked, “What Musical Frequency Feeds Your Body and Soul?” Well. Now. That piqued my curiosity. Maybe because I like easy ways to “fix” myself? Since this quiz was much more interesting than the “What is Your Inner Potato?” quiz, I proceeded.

feed_me

The results indicated that my body needed a frequency of 417Hz to facilitate change in my life. This frequency promised increased energy, productivity and creativity. The website sells a seven CD set to cure everything from being broke to hot flashes. Curious (but too cheap to spend the $50), I put “417hz” into the search box on YouTube. The first hit produced a simple tone of 417hz (which is not pleasant).

 

Eventually, the search produced more enjoyable music choices (similar to what you would hear during a massage session or in a Maharishi Yogi’s living room).

Sound affects your mood, your emotions and can, indeed, alter you physically. Think how a crying baby makes you feel; or the screeching violins in Psycho. Sandy starts cleaning when Laura Branigan’s “Gloria” comes on the radio; at work, if the song is right, Lindsay and Emily will soul-train past my station. This thinking provided the incentive  to play one of my 417Hz finds for about a half-hour. It was around 9:00 pm and I loaded the dishwasher without feeling annoyed. Yahtzee! I’m almost always annoyed when something needs to be done that late in the evening.

relaxing

I’ve been listening off and on, every day since. Whether it’s the power of suggestion, psychological, wishful thinking or I’m just wackadoodle, I do feel better. I plan on going through all the suggested frequencies to feel more at peace and maybe cure my acid reflux.

Give it a try. It’s easy. You don’t have to sit cross-legged on a zafu in front of the Chakra Banner with your eyes closed. All you have to do is listen. Find the sound to change your life here.

BURP! (Acid Reflux?)

It started 4 years ago. My baby turned 30, my mother died, and then my stomach broke.

For 30 some years, I had the same issues as everyone else: some food gave me heartburn (eat some TUMS), some caused diarrhea (stay close to home for a few hours), and some caused minor nausea (well, just puke). All easily dealt with.

This was different.

I thought – no, I BELIEVED – that I was having a heart attack. The pain was intolerable. It was constant. It was accompanied by severe stomach pain, unbearable nausea and extreme diarrhea. Day after day, week after week. Non-stop.

heart

Only people that have experienced it will understand. Everyone else will think, “Yeah, sure, I get heartburn, too. Eat some TUMS.”

This is different.

I started seeing doctors. Lots of doctors. I had blood tests, CAT scans, ultrasounds and scopes. Everything came back clear. So, the doctors put me on Nexium (which my insurance company refused to pay for, but that’s a whole other blog!) and Prilosec and other “prazoles”. They gave me a script, told me to give up smoking, coffee, and alcohol and pat me on the head before sending me on my way.

pill

The “heart attack” feeling (and everything else) went on for years. Some days were better then others, but it was always there. I started scheduling my eating (never eat within 2 hours of actually leaving the house and never eat while you’re out). I started eating fewer and fewer types of food (everything affected me except peanut butter, some crackers and boiled chicken). If I did go somewhere, I made certain the first thing I did was scope out the layout and locate the bathrooms immediately. Then, I just stopped going out (it was too embarrassing to tell people I may have an accident). It got worse and worse. I stopped eating. I went back to the doctors.

Every time I saw a doctor the result was the same. They increased the dosage for meds to stop acid from being produced. They told me to give up smoking, coffee, and alcohol and pat me on the head before sending me on my way.

This made no sense to me. I was getting worse and they weren’t concerned. I couldn’t eat. I was horribly sick all of the time. One doctor told me that as long as I drank fluids, I could go 30 days without eating. “Food makes you sick? Well, don’t eat!”

Don’t we NEED acid to digest our food? If the pills were stopping the acid from being produced, was it any wonder food gave me diarrhea? If gas was causing the constant “heart attack” feeling, shouldn’t they figure out WHY my stomach was making all that gas? I asked the questions but didn’t get any answers.

I started researching. I figured out a few things that helped me.

answers

This blog isn’t for everyone. This blog is not going to give you a diagnosis based on similar symptoms. I am not a doctor nor do I have ANY experience in the medical field. This blog is to share what I found helped me with acid reflux. There are lots of us out there. More than you know. In fact, children as young as 7 are being put on Prilosec! I mean, really?

There may be some things you can do to alleviate your symptoms. Some of these are fast and easy; some need an investment of time.

GET TESTED FOR H. PYLORI

According to WebMD and Mayo Clinic, about two-thirds of the world’s population has the bacteria H. Pylori in their bodies. For most people, it doesn’t cause symptoms. For some, it attacks the lining of the stomach, which protects you from the acid your body uses to digest food. Once the bacteria have done enough damage, acid gets through the lining, which leads to ulcers. These may bleed, cause infections, or keep food from moving through your digestive tract. Symptoms of ulcers can include bloating, burping, nausea, vomiting and a dull or burning pain in your belly. It may come and go, but you’ll probably feel it most when your stomach is empty, such as between meals or in the middle of the night. It can last for a few minutes or for hours. You may feel better after you eat, drink milk, or take an antacid.

bacteria

According to John Hopkins, 80% of gastric ulcers develop because of an H. Pylori infection and it’s treatable with antibiotics. A simple blood, stool or breath test is used to identify H. Pylori and probably runs about $50.

BUY SOFT PEPPERMINT

Something about peppermint helps soothe the stomach. It calms the muscles of the stomach and improves the flow of bile. (It also helps the breath and believe me, with THAT stomach, your breath smells more like a corpse than roses!) Any peppermint will help, but I’ve found that the soft, porous type alleviate gas, bloating and pain quicker. When you feel that heat in your stomach, or that pressure on your chest, suck on soft peppermint.

peppermint

(CAUTION: Some websites say that peppermint should not be used for Acid Reflux or GERD. Use your judgment or speak to your doctor if you are concerned.)

My personal favourites are Porous Peppermint Sticks from Vermont Country Store, Bob’s Mint Sticks from the Cracker Barrel, or King Leo Soft Peppermint Stick Candy which is available at Amazon.

TAKE ACTIVE CHARCOAL

Again, I’m not a doctor and recommend you speak with your physician or pharmacist, but none of the doctors I visited knew what it was or had used it (which surprises me since it was commonly used to treat poison). When I think of Active Charcoal, I think of the stuff that we used to put in fish tank filters. It filtered out all of the bad stuff and kept the water clean. It seems to have the same effect on my stomach.

charcoal

It can filter out good meds, too, so speak with your doctor but, there is nothing bad in it. The ingredients on the bottle read: Activated Charcoal and Gel Capsules. That’s it. That’s all. It’s not a med and can be purchased over the counter. For me, it was a miracle! It will turn your stool black, so don’t panic. I don’t overuse it. I use it on particularly bad days.

There are a few brands out there. Nature’s Way and Charco Caps are just two of them. Speak with your pharmacist or order them online at Amazon. They run about $5-$7 a bottle.

CONSIDER ALTERNATIVES TO PPIs

Nexium, Prilosec, Prevacid, Omeprazole, and Lansoprazole, are Proton-pump inhibitors (PPIs), medicines that work by drastically reducing the amount of acid your stomach makes. This may work well for some, but for me, it made me get sicker and sicker as time went on. Especially when they increased the dosage a number of times.

I’ve switched to an H2 antagonist (Zantac, Pepcid AC or Tagamet) with great results. During bad episodes, when I wake up in the morning, I immediately eat 2 TUMS, wait an hour and then take my Zantac. Only one doctor mentioned (casually) that it matters what time of day you take it, and that it “helps” to eat 2 TUMS an hour before taking it. It may not work for others, but it made a huge difference for me.

hour

Additionally, my doctor seemed confused at some blood test results. He was astounded that I had no vitamin B. None. Not even a trace. That was after a few years of taking the PPIs he had prescribed. According to every medical site I’ve been on, these drugs have been associated with an increased risk of vitamin and mineral deficiencies (vitamin B12, vitamin C, calcium, iron and magnesium). You know that acid that your stomach produces? It’s necessary to absorb vitamin B12 from the foods you eat. When you stop the acid, you reduce your ability to absorb vitamins. Consider taking supplements.

By the way, there is far less damage to the kidneys when taking an H2 antagonist (Zantac) then there is taking a PPI (Nexium and Priolsec) for long periods. And yes, they hurt the kidneys. Especially the PPIs.

AVOID PROCESSED FOODS

Although everyone is probably tired of hearing it, you are what you eat. Avoid processed food. Look at ingredients. I know when I’ve eaten processed foods. I can tell because I get sick 15-30 minutes after eating it. Read labels and if there are ingredients that end in “ite” or “ate”, or if it has high fructose corn syrup, get something else to eat.

ates_ites

  • Many peanut butters made me sick. I had to choose one that was all natural. Kroger’s has a great natural peanut butter. The ingredients are roasted peanuts and salt.
  • I can’t eat Campbell’s soup but organic soup (like Pacific) doesn’t bother me.
  • White sugar bothered me for a very long time. I had to use honey as a sweetener for everything from a jelly substitute for my sandwiches, to sweetening my coffee.
  • White bread made me ill for over a year. I could eat homemade bread or bakery bread, but not Wonder bread (or anything like it).
  • I could eat tuna filets but not canned or packaged tuna.
  • I can eat most cheese without any problem, but had to give up American cheese slices.

What you eat matters.

eat

DOCUMENT WHAT YOU EAT

Start a journal, create a spreadsheet, or get an app for your phone. Document what you eat and drink, when you eat or drink it and how you feel. Start looking for patterns. After journaling for a year, I discovered a few bizarre things about how food affects me.

If I fry an egg in butter, I get violently ill when I eat it. But I can eat the same egg scrambled and cooked using the same butter and frying pan without getting sick. Go figure!

egg nazi

The doctors all told me to stay away from tomatoes (acidity) and cucumbers (hard to digest). I have no problems with either.

Document what and when you eat and learn what works for you.

TAKE A DIGESTIVE AID

Remember my earlier questions: WHY does my stomach make so much acid and gas? No one ever answered me. Then one day, we went to a bourbon distillery for a tour. As the tour progressed, we arrived at large open tubs with mash bubbling away.

The tour guide told us to touch it. I hesitated, thinking it was boiling but it was stone cold! I asked why. She explained that it was fermenting. Here was this mash bubbling away, and if you leaned over it, you could pass out because it was giving off tons of gas.

bubbling mash

What if part of my problem was that I was an extremely slow digester (which was confirmed by a gall bladder ultrasound)? Is food fermenting in my stomach? That would explain the excessive gas being produced (which sits on my chest causing that “heart attack” feeling). In that case, if I could digest better, I would be less likely to make all that gas. So, how could I digest better?

I discovered Digestive Enzymes. In a nutshell, your liver, pancreas and gall bladder makes digestive enzymes. These enzymes break down food into nutrients so that our bodies can absorb them. Digestive enzymes help you digest your food. But, if the enzymes aren’t working well, or there’s not enough of them, you digest slower.

I have found that taking Digestive Enzyme supplements has helped tremendously. Talk to your pharmacist (You and your pharmacist will be best friends by the time you’re done. My pharmacist, Diana, is coming for supper tomorrow.) They can be purchased over the counter or ordered online at GNC and many other sites.

TAKE PROBIOTICS

In addition to digestive enzymes, there is good bacteria (and bad bacteria) in your body that helps digest food and do a million other good things. Without the good bacteria, your immune system can be compromised. The bad bacteria destroys the enzymes you need to digest your food. You get sick. Eating soft cheeses, sourdough bread, sauerkraut, and yogurt can repopulate the gut’s good bacteria (Now you know why Jamie Lee Curtis eats Activia).

yogurt

Probiotics (the good bacteria in pill form) is another choice. You can get them everywhere, but know that they’re alive, so check the date. Good bacteria that’s dead won’t help.

DRINK MORE WATER

It aids digestion. Need I say more?

DEVELOP A ROUTINE

When you find what works for you, it’s important that you stick with it. Establish a routine, and for the most part, stick to it!

routine

I have found that it’s best for me if I drink a glass of water immediately after waking up (it gets all my organs awake and working). Then, if needed, I take 2 TUMS and an hour later my Zantac. I eat either a bowl of oatmeal (NOT instant!) or peanut butter toast. Every two hours I eat something small (crackers, a spoonful of peanut butter, some cheese). Every two hours! Don’t skip! When I do eat a meal, it consists mostly of salad (of course, add kale or spinach or other good healthy stuff) and some protein. I don’t eat red meat or processed food. Not that I’m a health nut. I love bacon and burgers and a good steak. But they don’t like me! So, I stick with eggs, cheese, REAL fish or chicken (not fried). Another glass of water before going to bed.

RESEARCH LEAKY GUT SYNDROME

Recently, I came across a few articles on Leaky Gut Syndrome. I don’t know a lot about it yet, but if you suffer tremendously, it may be worth your while to do some research on it.

leaky gut

One article (Leaky Gut Syndrome in Plain English) states that:

“Multiple Food Sensitivities can be a sign that your immune system is developing antibodies to everything you’re eating. Nutritional deficiencies are a sign of lacking vitamins and minerals from the improper breakdown of food in your intestines. Chronic diarrhea and constipation are signs of inflammation of the intestinal walls from Leaky Gut. Skin rashes are your body’s way of trying to dump the toxins through the skin perforations. A poor immune system will result from your body trying to wage war on itself and ignoring all the virus and bacteria we encounter on a daily basis, allowing you to get sick more often. Headaches, brain fog, memory loss, and excessive fatigue are a result of the inflammation of tissue and toxin build up. Yeast overgrowth (Candida) will cause cravings for sugar and carbs, gas, bloating, and anxiety. All of these things add up to a host of symptoms with a myriad of explanations… all leading back to one thing: the constant river of foreign objects being allowed to enter your bloodstream.”

I’ll certainly be checking into it!

I would do it now, but I have to run. There’s a bathroom with my name on it!


How do you handle the symptoms of Acid Reflux? Are there tricks I don’t know about? Please share your comments so that we can all benefit. We’re anxiously waiting to hear from you.