WTH? GTG L8R (Deciphering text messages)

by // // No Comments

wtf

I speak English and Polish. I understand a little Russian, Ukrainian, Lithuanian, German… and text-speak. That’s right, I know some text-speak. It’s another language.

mom_lol

If you do any social networking at all (for example: Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, Flickr, VK, Vine, Tagged) you may be like me and stare at some of the language that is used. I wrack my brain trying to figure out WTH they are saying!!!! LOL SOZ… I couldn’t resist :p

idk_ttyl

This is a tiny lesson in some of the basics. It may keep you from scratching your head, or it may make you feel ‘current’, or it may save you from making an embarrassing comment. (Under no circumstances admit to eating blue waffles on any social networking site. I found out the hard way. Blue waffles have nothing to do with Smurfy breakfasts!)

penis

I have to say, although it may seem ridiculous to some, text-speak does make it easier on those of us who can not type well or suffer from arthritis. Less typing, to me, is better.

LESSON 1: THE BASICS (my version)

ABBREVIATIONS: They are simply that. Shortened versions of words or phrases.

ACTIONS: An indication that the writer is doing something (vs. saying something). Actions may be entered between either 2 asterisks **, or between brackets [], or between arrows <>.

EMOTICONS: A graphic expression.

 LESSON 2: ABBREVIATIONS

The following is a list of the most common abbreviations of text-speak that I have encountered. Learn them. Print it out and keep it near your computer. Although I have used capital letters, they are actually typed in lower case unless you are being very emotional and/or yelling.

AFK – Away From Keyboard
ALOL – Actually Laughing Out Loud
ASL – Age? Sex? Location?
ASLA – Age? Sex? Location? Availability?
BBL – Be Back Later
BF / GF – Boyfriend / Girlfriend
BRB – Be Right Back
BTW – By The Way
EFFIN – Fucking (Ef-ing)
FFS – For Fuck’s Sake
FML – Fuck My Life
GR8 – Great
GTG – Got To Go
HB – Hurry Back
IDK – I Don’t Know
IKR – I Know, Right?
IMO – In My Opinion
IRL – In Real Life
JK – Just Kidding
K – OK
L8R – Later
LMAO – Laugh My Ass Off
LOL – Laughing Out Loud
NM – Never Mind
NOOB/NUB – A newbie; inexperienced.
NP – No Problem
OF – Old Fart (that would be me!)
OFAP – Old Fart At Play
OFC – Of Course
OIC – Oh I See
OMG – Oh My God/Gosh!
PLZ – Please
PPL – People
RL – Real Life
ROFL – Roll On Floor Laughing
SOZ – Sorry
TBT (TBM, TBF, etc.) Throw Back Tuesday (Monday, Friday, etc.)
TTYL – Talk To You Later
TY – Thank You
TYVM – Thank You Very Much
UR – Your, You’re (You Are)
W8 – Wait
WB – Welcome Back
W/E – Whatever
WTF – What The Fuck?
WTH – What The Hell / Heck?
YW – You’re Welcome
YQW – You’re Quite Welcome

LESSON 3: ACTIONS

I will use arrows <>  for the actions listed, but keep in mind that brackets [] and asterisks ** are also commonly used to indicate an action.

<C&G> – The speaker is chuckling and grinning.
<G> – The speaker is grinning.
<EG> – The speaker is giving an Evil Grin.
<BEG> – The speaker is giving a Big Evil Grin.
<POKE> – The speaker is poking you; trying to get your attention.
<S> – The speaker is smiling.
<SMH> – The speaker is shaking their head (Shakes My Head).
<W> – The speaker is winking.

LESSON 4: EMOTICONS

Emoticons are symbolic expressions. When they are sideways, they are read from left to right, not the other way around. A smiley (smiling face) would be represented by 🙂 (a pair of eyes and a smiling mouth turned sideways). A smiley is not correctly represented by (:  Sometimes the nose is present; sometimes it is not. I have seen it both ways.

🙂 or 🙂     Smiling
:)) or :)))     Big smile
🙁 or 🙁     Sad 😉 or 😉     Winking
;( or ;-( or QQ     Crying
😀 or 😀     Laughing or big grin
😛     Sticking tongue out
:^P     Sticking tongue out with a nose
B^P     Sticking tongue out while wearing sunglasses
😮 or 😮     Alarmed or amazed
:*     A kiss
:s or :-s     Confused
😐 or 😐     Ambivalent
:\ or :-\     Pondering
0:) or 0:-)     An angel
@_@     Annoyed
:{     Having a hard time
^-^     Happy
*_*     Dazed
8) or 😎     Cool
😯 or 😯     Shocked
>;->     Winking devilishly
|^o       Snoring
>:-(       Annoyed or pouting
🙁 )         A big mouth
*<:-)     Wearing a Santa Claus Hat
:-[          A vampire
|-)         Hee hee!
%-)        Brain dead
:-||         Seriously angry
<3          A heart (look at it sideways; tilt your head to the right)
(_x_)     A Butt

RESOURCES:

My list is short compared to all of the text-speak out there. You may find these sites helpful if you come across text-speak that you are unfamiliar with but are just dying to know what it means!

netlingo.com (NetLingo List of Chat Acronyms & Text Shorthand)

Buzzle (Texting Symbols List)

PlanetPals (Chat Smileys Internet Dictionary)

Cool Smileys (List of Text Emoticons)

You should now be prepared to enter the social network!!! Be careful out there. LOL TTYL ^_^

(pictures borrowed from buzzfeed.com)

Find Your Style

by // // No Comments

Things change. They fade, shrink, expand, wrinkle and drop. It’s inevitable. You can’t stop it (unless you have a fortune to spend on plastic surgery, which I’m all for!), but you can use “style” to hide some changes and enhance others. Flaunt your age; make the most of it. Take inspiration from women like Katherine Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, Lauren Hutton and Diane Keaton.

If you need additional inspiration, take a look at these fabulous women on one of my favourite blogs:

Advanced Style

Ari Seth Cohen roams “the streets of New York looking for the most stylish and creative older folks”.

One fashionable woman he met, 99 year old Rose, said it best (the following excerpt was borrowed from Ari Seth Cohen’s Blog, Advance Style):

  1. Find your perfect perfume, people will remember you by your scent. Rose is known for her Pauline Trigere fragrance. She tells her granddaughter “I’ll give you anything in the world, but I won’t give you my perfume.”
  2. Belts and Beads. Rose believes that a belt or unique strand of beads can really make an outfit and they don’t have to cost a fortune.
  3. Take care of your feet and wear good shoes, but when you are going out for a night on the town “Fashion comes before comfort”. At 98, Rose goes out every single night!
  4. “Walking is a must, it’s better than doctors or medicine.”
  5. No need to use expensive moisturizers, Rose swears by Oil of Olay which she has been using for decades.
  6. “Inexspensive lipstick is as good as expensive, only better!“ Rose has tried every brand from Chanel to Lauder and has recently been turned on to Revlon.
  7. Be Unique. “If Everyone is wearing it, then it’s not for me”
  8. “Be smart enough to know what you don’t know.“
  9. If you have trouble reading the dinner menu, Lorgnettes are a fashionable and elegant alternative to reading glasses.
  10. “Be Happy. Enjoy what you have at every moment!”
  11. Stay Organized. “If you take a toothpick out, or a pair of pantyhose, or a hundred dollar bill, always put it back where you found it, because if you add up the the time you spent looking for it later, that’s a waste of time.”
  12. “Always tell the truth because if you don’t you’ll have to think of another lie.”
  13. “Be More, appear Less.“
  14. “Always take the phone off the hook when you’re in the bath.”
  15. “Make friends with the maitre de.‘”
  16. “Never loan; Never borrow.“
  17. “Never keep anyone waiting. Always be 15 minutes early.”
  18. “Never look back. Always look forward.”
  19. “Don’t be afraid to tell your age, that’s silly. Be proud of your age.“
  20. “Don’t frequent a restaurant where they don’t crumb the table.“
This entry was posted in Fashion.

Lose 5 lbs. in 5 minutes! — Just Pick the Girls Up!!!!! (Good Bras)

by // // No Comments

Pick the Girls Up - good bra for saggy breasts

Truvy: “l’ll bet you money she paid $500 for that dress…and don’t even bother to wear a girdle.”
Clairee: “Looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket.”
Truvy: “l haven’t left the house without Lycra on these thighs since l was 14.”
Clairee: “You were brought up right.”

 (Steel Magnolias, 1989)

Ladies, gravity is winning! But there is still something you can do.

Once you hit 50, please invest in a good bra. Then wear it.

It amazes me how many of my beautiful lady friends go out in sports bras. They make sure their hair is great, make-up impeccable, clothing pristine…. then they add at least 5 lbs. to their appearance by wearing a sports bra. Sports bras are comfortable. I get it. I own a few. Go ahead — sleep in them; clean house in them; relax in them. When you want to look your best, wear a good bra. Pick those girls up! With a sports bra, the girls lay against your belly, you put your shirt on and guess what? You look flat-chested with a big belly.

You can look 5-10 lbs. lighter by just picking the girl’s up. I like Victoria’s Secret. They provide you with the correct measurements for your body (important) and I find the bras to be comfortable and have great quality. They cost an average of $45-$55 per bra, but last longer then the cheaper ones I have purchased. You can also get coupons or purchase multiples to bring the cost down.

I also wear what I call my “Girl’s Shirt”. Made of spandex and nylon, the “Girl’s Shirt” not only helps to keep the girls up where they belong, it holds the back fat in. Body shapers work, too.

Look at some before and after pictures where I am wearing a sports bar under a simple T-shirt (left), then my Victoria’s Secret bra and supporting Girl’s Shirt under the same T-shirt (right).

sports bra vs. good bra (view 1)
Full side-view of me wearing a sports bra (left) and minutes later, a good bra (right).

sports bra vs. good bra (view 2)
Almost front-view of me wearing a sports bra (left) and minutes later, a good bra (right).

sports bra vs. good bra (view 3)
Another side-view of me wearing a sports bra (left) and minutes later, a good bra (right).

Think about it… a $50 investment and you can lose 5 lbs. in 5 minutes!

This entry was posted in Fashion.

Booger Glue

by // // No Comments

My mother hated booger’s. Just say the word and she would start gagging violently. Mom was a big gagger! It’s no surprise then, when I was a teen, one of my favourite past times was torturing my mother. I would put cellophane tape on the table and cover it with water. The cellophane would lift off and all that was left was the adhesive. I could then roll the adhesive into a sticky, pale yellowish-green ball. Holding it between my fore-finger and thumb, I would sit near my mother, casually get her attention and pretend I was picking my nose. Mom would freak out, gag and run. I would chase her through the house with my booger glue. Ah, good times!

I am older now and times have changed. Yes, booger glue is now free!!! Every time you get a fake credit card in your junk mail… you are receiving free booger glue! When you purchase deli meat in a plastic container… you are receiving free booger glue!

Lift the credit card off of the junk mail letter (or the paper off the deli container lid) and simply roll the glue off into a small ball.

You can chase a grandchild with fake boogers, but nowadays, I use mine more constructively. Place it behind a hanging frame and your frame will stop tilting. Use it to temporarily adhere gift cards and photos in birthday (or other) cards. Yes, they sell stuff made for this. Why pay for it when companies are mailing it to you free? Also, the one you purchase is dyed blue which eventually stains. The free booger glue is natural in colour, so no stains! It makes it easier to chase people, too. No one believes in blue boogers.

« Older posts
Newer posts »