The lobby is my office. I greet visitors, including frequent job applicants. The routine is the same each time. They sign in and I notify the appropriate person to come greet their guest.
I generally have notice of whom to expect, but occasionally a visitor will surprise me, as did
“La-Ah”. I can’t remember her last name, but her first name will stay with me. (Hint: it didn’t rhyme with Aha! or caca). I wasn’t taking any chances and asked how she pronounced her name. She said, “LU-DASH-UH”. According to Urban Dictionary this is a thing and the “dash” don’t be silent.
A baby on the way is exciting and finding a name is fun, but try to be responsible — your baby will have that name their entire life. It’s a big decision and one that often comes after much careful thought.
Here are some helpful hints in selecting your baby’s name:
1) Consider whether or not the name will hold up over the years. Call me old-timey but in a decade or two names like Nevaeh or Alucard, made-up names derived from words spelled backwards, will sound silly.
2) Avoid attention-getting celebrities’ choices. Saint is a name Kanye must have come up with on his “Yeezus Tour”. North and the new baby, Chicago are kind of cool, but adding the surname, West, loses me.
Bear was selected by both Alicia Silverstone and Kate Winslet as their boys’ name. Kind of wild, huh?
Moon Unit, Diva Muffin and Dweezil are Frank Zappa’s daughters. Drugs, duh. That’s the only correct answer here.
Apple is the name of Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter, who will, no doubt, be sitting at the ugly girls’ lunch table.
Tu Morrow is Rob Morrow’s daughter. Ugh.
See a good representation of what celebrities named their babies, here:
3) Be selective when using movie, book or television characters. My boys were both named after beloved characters from favored romance novels. Bryce was taken from “The Wolf and the Dove” and Stuart from “The Thorn Birds”. I’ll be waiting for your calls, boys.
I suggest avoiding these at all cost:
Snape–(Harry Potter) Don’t even think about it.
Katniss—(The Hunger Games) Bad taste is never good.
Daenerys—(Game of Thrones) This is a name from a made-up language, people.
Pumbaa-(Lion King) Taken from Swahili which refers to someone who is silly, foolish, careless, and weak-minded. Your kid deserves better.
Many children have been named after Disney characters. I don’t mind Merida, Sebastian or Ariel but I’d skip Pongo (Oh, come on! It’s a dog!)
Be inspired here:
4) Say the full name in all forms. Ima Hogg; Anita Rest; Justin Case; William Power (Will Power), Paige Turner or Matt Scott Wood are all mistakes. It is my hope these children develop a sense of humor.
5) Consider your desire. Do you want your child to stand out or fit in? Popular traditional names for 2017 were Sophia and Jackson. Or you can be hip and use creative (wacky) spellings. Imagine a bay-beez naym such as Khrystyne, Airwrecka, Jaykub or Eysek.
It’s not always a good idea to spell the name in a trendy way. My cousin, Julie, entered her baby daughter’s name on the birth certificate application as “Tara Rhea”. The baffled nurse thought it rhymed with diarrhea. Julie immediately edited to “Tara Rae”.
6) Is the name legal?
Internationally:
- China doesn’t allow symbols and numerals. See ya, La-Ah!
- Saudi Arabia has a list of banned baby names, including “Linda,” (due to its association with Western culture).
- Germany has very strict laws. Names must clearly indicate the gender. Plus Germany, Italy and many other countries cite that names “must not be likely to lead to humiliation.”
- Denmark, Hungary and Iceland require parents to choose baby names from a pre-approved list.
United States:
- Several states limit the number of characters that can be used due to the limitations of the software used for official record keeping.
- California has a ban on diacritical marks, so no way to José or Beyoncé.
- Florida requires both parents to agree on the first name. If they can’t agree, a court will select one.
- Or, move to Kentucky where there are no naming laws at all. Well, hello, La-Ah!
7. Ethnic names are generally to be celebrated. I grew up with practical parents. Why they thought their only son wouldn’t have problems with a name like Raimundus (roll the “r”), is beyond my scope of comprehension. Mom wanted him to be named Raymond. Dad insisted on the Lithuanian version. Last summer my brother, “Ray”, applied for an enhanced driver’s license to cross into Canada and see Niagara Falls. It was a nightmare when his first name didn’t match on the submitted documents.
8. Don’t choose a name with failed initials. My niece’s initials are MAD. If your name is Smith, then avoid Patty Marie (PMS). William Thomas Ford is unfortunate, as well. Get it?
9. Naming twins has unique challenges.
- Fish and Chips–A New Zealand couple chose this name for their twins. The government later banned the names.
- Sam and Ella–(Yikes! Salmonella?)
- Morocco and Monroe– Mariah Carey calls them Roc and Roe.
A good story makes almost any name okay in my book. The young man in our Marketing Department, (who calls me “Miss Irene”), was named after his grandmother’s favorite basketball player, Jalen Rose of the Indiana Pacers. Our Jalan has a twin sister named Jai’La. And…all the grandchildren share the same initials JMN. Sweet, right?
When my sister was pregnant the first time, she hoped their first born male would be named Phineas from “A Separate Peace” or Ruark from the romance novel, “Shanna”. Ultimately there was an argument and then a compromise: She, Eddie and the new baby would make three…and that’s how Trey received his name!
If you have an interesting story describing how you were named, we’d love to here it!
You forgot “Donald Glover” in saying the name in every form 😂.
And you wonder why I drink…