Who hasn’t forgotten someone’s name or missed an appointment? Everybody. Right? Still, I worry that my memory loss is more than occasional forgetfulness. I have become that person who places the remote on the phone base. That person who panics when she can’t find her iPhone and it’s clutched in her hand. That person who stops in the middle of a sentence so she can try to recall the word, “bagel”. That person who took pride in grammar and spelling and now stares at the word “practicle” and wonders why it looks odd. The correct term is “brain fog”. My memory is worse than Winnie-the-Pooh’s, so I call it “stuffed with fluff”.

Sandy insists there’s nothing to worry about. Our brains do not get weak; they simply know more. Our brain, she explains, is like a file cabinet and our memories are the files. She then explains that at an older age, our “file cabinet” is full and it takes longer to retrieve a file. I get it. But when I try to pull a memory from, let’s say this morning, the file sometimes comes back empty! I need a better filing system!

I realize that our memory declines as we age, but it’s not just forgetting. There are other types of memory issues I’ve noticed with those of us on the other side of 40. Here are some examples:

“Brain Running Faster than the Mouth” Syndrome

We speak at approximately 115 words-per-minute, but we think at approximately eight times that speed. Sandy’s thoughts run fifty times the speed of her spoken words. This is something Sandy demonstrates with a fair amount of regularity. She thinks she has vocalized internal thoughts when only a part of it comes out. 

“Mouth Running Faster than Brain” Syndrome

I have the opposite problem. I fear that an idea will be forgotten as fast as it was formed, so I sometimes combine two or more thoughts into one sentence. I need to use a period after every thought.

Selective memory

Me: Where’s the milk?
Husband: Milk! Did you tell me to get milk?
Me: It’s on the list!
Husband:  I forgot.
Me: But you didn’t forget the chocolate cake.
Husband: See? I remembered something.
Me: It wasn’t on the list! And neither were the chips, licorice and lottery tickets.
Husband: <grinning>

Repeating ourselves

We’ve all experienced it with our aging parents or grandparents, me included. It can be annoying. Apparently, I now do it as well. Obviously I don’t remember to whom I’ve told a story or event. This is called “destination amnesia”. My boys don’t roll their eyes. They have a tongue-in-cheek code to indicate that they’ve heard it 10, 20, 30, 40 or more times.

Disjointed Thoughts

Absent-mindedness

My dear, funny, friend Shelley, constantly forgets the small stuff, like where she left her water. She’s younger than I am, so I attribute her forgetfulness to having too much on her mind. The good news is, she remembers the important things: her faith, her family and her friends.

All Is Not Lost

Memory loss is not an inevitable result of aging.

• Just like a muscle, you have to “use it or lose it”. My mother-in-law constantly exercises her brain. At 83 years of age, she’s adept at the iPad, follows a road-trip route on a map, reads voraciously and loves movies. So, learn a new craft, memorize the words to Bare Naked Ladies’ “One Week” or play chess. Try online games. Studies show adults that played online games regularly boosted their working memory. Lumosity offers a customized training plan. Give it a try.
• Physical activity, especially aerobics, appears to boost the size of the brain area involved in verbal memory, focus and learning. Do the cha-cha, walk or ride a bike to enjoy the great outdoors, go swimming or, if it’s cold or rainy, bring out the Nintendo WII and bowl with friends.
• One of the most important things you can do for your memory is to simply eat well-balanced meals. Brain cells, like all body cells, need adequate nutrition for normal activity. No need to dwell on what we should eat. We all know that eating well means a diet low in fat and high in fruits, whole grains, vegetables, and protein.
• This may be surprising to some, but drinking plenty of water has an effect on our focus. Even mild dehydration (you don’t really feel it) can lead to inattention. More serious dehydration will cause impaired cognitive function and lethargy.
• This one shouldn’t be difficult for most of us, get your beauty sleep! The inability to concentrate is often caused by a lack of sleep, so make sure you get enough shut-eye.
• When trying to focus, bring yourself to the present by concentrating on something randomly chosen. Wiggle your toes, snap a rubber band on your wrist or pinch your earlobe. These reminders will instantly rope in your wandering mind and bring you back to the present–where you belong.
• Associate an external event with something you want to remember. This results in those “Oh! That reminds me” moments. I use this technique to remember to water my plants. When I take my vitamins, I water one plant with the remaining water. So each plant gets a drink every 4 or 5 days.
• Don’t multi-task. I sometimes feel like a failure if I’m not doing our taxes, while browsing the web, eating dinner, and talking on the phone with an old friend. Like our brains, focus should be treated like a muscle, as well. The more time you spend focused, the stronger and easier it gets.

• Be conscious of when there’s something you need to remember. Say it out loud by asking someone to remind you. I can even remember the row I’m crocheting when I use this trick.
• Use creative methods like a reward system. When you stay focused for a time, reward yourself with a little treat

• Use Google like a pro. I LOVE Google. It doesn’t take me long to find the British actor who played in that movie about rockets which started with an “R” (I think).
• Take regular breaks. When my brain is getting a real workout, I like to take a 45-minute break for every 10 minutes of work.
• Counting also works for me. I recall a scene in a movie where Anthony Hopkins explains to the new wife his nightly bedtime routine. Unfortunately, I don’t recall the movie, but that scene left an impression on me. I now count six things I need to do before bed, four things after I park the car and seven things before bed.
• Here’s a suggestion (I’m willing to try): a compound found in red wine may help prevent age-related memory loss!

So, before you diagnose yourself with Alzheimer’s or Dementia, take heart. Experts say some memory lapses are normal as we age. I don’t need to become the Scrabble World Champion, I just have to remember where I parked my car!