Recently, while up in Pentwater, Michigan, the husbands decided to go fishing and Shirley and I decided to, what else?–go shopping!

I drove the “new” van. It’s a 2016, of which I’m still getting used to. It has this sassy thing called a keyless start. There’s definitely a cool factor to pushing that button to fire up your car’s engine without fumbling for a key in your purse.

We finished shopping and carried our (many) bags to the car. The rear hatch was locked so I began jiggling, jostling and silently cursing while looking for the fob (which I assumed was lurking in the depths of my purse). Time to start pulling out items. 

I literally haul half my life in my purse, just in case of a life emergency like needing a snack. Which explains the Christmas M&M’s. And, what a pleasant surprise! I found cash (that I probably hid from myself). Then 5 lip balms, a steno pad, several pieces of individually wrapped plastic cutlery and some salt packets (I used to make fun of my mom for doing this).

I knew this wasn’t going to end well.

Yep. Shirley looked through the window and started laughing. Laughing!

She immediately starts calling and texting the boys, who are in the middle of a huge lake. Signal? Probably not.

I, on the other hand, subscribe to keeping our marriage more peaceful by not telling my dear husband everything…So I decide to take a whack at breaking in. Google shares how this locking mechanism prevents break ins. Great.

Shirley’s dialing and texting…

The good news was that we were outside Dollar General so we could get a honey bun and a juice box if we were out there in the baking sun for any length of time.

Shirley’s dialing and texting…

I hesitate to ask for help but may have to. I am the MVP of locking keys in my car. A strong circle of family and friends have helped with previous lock-outs…but in Pentwater? Two were in the middle of a lake, one was helpless with me and Alexa was nowhere to be found. Who was I going to call? The corn man who shares his crop with many of the campers? Is it even corn season?

Shirley’s dialing and texting…

Finally she gets through! Apparently this new technology is smart enough not to allow the doors to lock if, for some reason, you leave the fob inside the vehicle.

We try the doors and Bam! Presto! They’re unlocked!

Since my cover is blown, I next dwell on my punishment.

What’s dear husband going to do to me? Paint my face while I’m sleeping? Insist on a foot rub? Bake him a pie? Nope. He’ll probably take away the fob. Cold.